All rights reserved. ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. In the heat of the moment, lawyers may also be asking some weird questions which often lead to confusion coupled with laughter. 7. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. I need someone to record "My name is Susan!" ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? I’ll pencil in some time to cry about it later . WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? I tell you, I'm too excited. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?OTHER LAWYER: Objection. Bradshaw v. Unity Marine (S.D. LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.LAWYER: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?WITNESS: No. Charles M. Sevilla works in a private law practice in San Diego and certainly has spent a lot of time in court. You don’t like me? 7. LAWYER: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? The defendant herein is a truck, The vehicle is a pick-up, Alleged by a fed To be found in a bed Of marijuana, caught in the muck. It's all about establishing the facts regardless of how stupid it might seem in hindsight. WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Right now, I’m busy enjoying my life. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? LAWYER: So you were gone until you returned? How memorable, you might ask? Also, isnt this from Hot Fuzz? LAWYER: Could you see him from where you were standing? LAWYER: Were you acquainted with the deceased?WITNESS: Yes sir.LAWYER: Before or after he died? LAWYER: Have you lived in this town all your life?WITNESS: Not yet. Duck in a Truck. ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. 7. –Donald Trump, in what many interpreted to be a suggestion that someone might shoot Hillary Clinton, her Supreme Court picks, or both, Wilmington, North Carolina campaign rally, Aug. 9, 2016 Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? There are dumb things to say, and there are very very dumb things to say. Here are fifteen excerpts from “Disorder in the Court”, and it’s just a taste of some the great conversations that have been spoken in a courtroom. Please enter your email to complete registration. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I m Sparks, I m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said… Since she's embarked on her journalistic endeavor, Giedrė has over 600 articles under her belt and hopes for twice as much (fingers crossed - half of them are about cats). WITNESS: Thank you. – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. Nobody would like to end up on the wrong side of the court hearing (or any side at all), because your life belongs solely to the decision of a judge and the work of your lawyer. The live ones put up too much of a fight. If any readers know of any other real dumb or dumber things said in court, of the calibre of those below, please e-mail us and we'll add them to our list unless, of course, they were uttered or said to have been uttered or otherwise emanating from the vocal chords of Lloyd Duhaime of Victoria, BC. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? I've seen these exact questions and answers at least 20 years ago. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? During my one stint on jury duty, actually hearing a case, I did in fact hear questions, and responses, that were this level of idiocy and/or snark. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? I don’t know." Kids say the darndest things, often to the surprise and confusion of their parents. Whether they are asking the tough questions about life or having a chat with their toys, sometimes the craziest things come out of the mouths of babes. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?WITNESS: No. Judge Sheehan noted that the news made him “happier than a tick on a fat dog because [the Court] is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve-foot stepladder into a five-gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a … LAWYER: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?WITNESS: Yes.LAWYER: And these stairs, did they go up also? – Ann Landers. ... Back to Things People Said. Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 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Thankfully, their parents have Twitter. LAWYER: Are you married?WITNESS: No, I'm divorced.LAWYER: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?WITNESS: A lot of things I didn't know about. 54. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. That's a pretty TIGHT question. LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law's name?WITNESS: Borofkin.LAWYER: What's his first name?WITNESS: I can't remember.LAWYER: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?WITNESS: No. Sadly, even the judges ruling on sexual assault cases have said some utterly infuriating things about victims, and even about those accused of sexual assault, which reflect the … LAWYER: Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? says the judge. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Here are a few things that our Instagram readers found themselves saying at school that were…a little unexpected. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied. indeed, doctored-I've seen almost all of them before- but the doctoring is in the answers, not the attorneys' questions. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? Apparently, we have a lot to say about noses and nose picking. WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide?WITNESS: Four times. You can change your preferences. ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years. Apparently it was funny. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. LAWYER: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? “Sir,” says the judge, “one more outburst, and I’ll charge you with contempt.” “I’m sorry, your Honor,” says the man. In an interview with a conservative radio host earlier this year, Carson said it was “unconstitutional” that judges have ruled in favor of equality despite statewide ballot initiatives that resulted in different outcomes. i don't find it as funny as the others. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. second in the Cornetto trilogy? where Pegg asks this kid (at a bar) when was his birth-day, and he answers this. Maybe not these people though. It all depends where you fall on the Grinch-meter really. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name! Judge: "Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?" Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. February 1, 2012 ... judges have called out Scientology repeatedly over the … – Judge Goldberg in Schenk v. Commissioner, 686 F.2d 315 (5 th Cir. Funny Judge Jokes. Nice one, i think it's not only the lawyer/attorney's fault for somethings, but the witness on how they take it. I wonder if the attorney is CLOSE ENOUGH to find the answer. ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment. Can I get a new attorney? LAWYER: Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--WITNESS: Thank you. ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Error occurred when generating embed. LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? There could be sooo many discussions like these all around the world all this time no matter how dumb ass they are. LAWYER: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me? ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Charles M. 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